By Mary Lynne Murray
Reprinted from Contra Costa Times, May 8, 2004
You’ve heard that the shoemaker’s
children never have shoes? Likewise, when you’re a professional
organizer, there is no guarantee that your children will be organized.
About once a week my eldest can be found unscrambling the chaos
of her room. “Mom, I figured out why I keep throwing my
clothes on the floor,” she announced one Saturday morning.
I waited on pins and needles to hear her revelation.
“It’s because I hate my closet.”
Whenever someone says they hate or love something about their
space, I pay close attention. And her reasons, in this case?
“Well, the clothes are hanging too low, and it’s dark
in there. It’s awkward to reach my clothes and I can hardly
see them. The closet is too full and I should probably get rid
of some things.”
“Say no more, my almost-17-year-old. Let’s call an
electrician to install a light in the closet, and adjust the clothes
rod to your current height.”
After moving the rod up, we sorted the clothes into shirts, pants,
skirts, jackets, and dresses, rehanging in their sorted categories.
There wasn’t time to go through her clothes, but she did
kick out some shoes – three pairs, a lone flip-flop, and
shoe liners that never fit.
What’s working (or not) in your teen’s bedroom? Is
the furniture arranged to her liking? How are CDs/videos/ DVDs
being stored? Is the lighting adequate, bedside, desk side, or
otherwise? Has she run out of space?
In Organizing from the Inside Out for Teens, Julie Morganstern
suggests that teens identify the “Essential 7”-- things
that get used and enjoyed the most.
For Jacey, these include her special blankets, lamp, clothes,
books, phone, scrap booking supplies and things decorating the
walls. Knowing what’s important to you right now helps immensely
to organize your room. For example, Beany Babies once loved can
be stored away for young house guests, passed on to family friends,
or sold.
Moms across the country are wondering “where they went wrong”
because their kid’s room is a wreck. Most have used their
power as parent to remedy the situation, with backsliding in full
swing by the end of the week. It’s time to realize the limits
of our influence, and choose our battles wisely.
Now you may think I’m talking out both sides of my mouth.
I do believe the benefits of organization far outweigh the time
spent to be organized. But parents need to be realistic about
their teen’s bedroom. Does it really reflect on us ? Isn’t
your child an individual with her own ideas? Maybe it’s
easier for me to talk this way since I’ve seen much deeper
levels of clutter in my travels than in my teen’s room.
The term “organized enough,” coined by my organizer
friend Kathy Waddill, will help. Is your child organized enough
to:
• Find what she needs when she needs it—without involving
you in the search?
• Be on time with school assignments and getting places?
• Not lose things frequently?
• Not be overwhelmed?
• Know what to do next?
• Finish what she starts?
Oft times the room turns to chaos simply because your teen isn’t
home very often. The bedroom becomes a pit stop for the next activity.
When they run from school to sports to part time jobs to social
events, there’s no time left for maintenance.
We hang most of their shirts, instead of storing in the chest
of drawers; hanging is easier than folding and ensures an unwrinkled
garment.
We use one kind of hanger for each closet. Plastic hangers are
inexpensive and are gentler on clothes than wire hangers. Clothes
hang uniformly and make it easier to get dressed.
We divided a dresser drawer with two bins, one for socks and the
other for underwear. The remaining drawers contain sweatpants,
pajamas, shorts, etc.
We made sure that the room had adequate bedside light that they
could turn off from bed, and a separate light switch on the wall
to flip when entering the room.
We hung picture ledges for trophies and other keepsakes. Over
the years they’ve pared down their trophies, keeping only
those they consider important. (Readers: If you have a resource
for old trophies, please email me!)
We gathered “keeper” childhood possessions in clear
plastic bins, labeled and stored them in the garage. The plan
is that they will cart these bins off “some day” when
they are settled with their own home.
We have bulletin boards where they hang pictures of friends; and,
shocking as this may sound, they write notes to themselves on
their mirrored closet doors with dry erase pens.
To avoid the closet’s becoming a black hole, we installed
closet organizer systems with shelves for “stuff”
and movable rods for hanging clothes to grow as they grew.
You notice I haven’t mentioned desks and homework. Although
both Jacey & Haley have desks in their rooms, neither likes
to work there. When they were younger they preferred to work where
the family was. As one put it: “Why would I want to sit
at a desk when I sit at one all day at school?” So the kitchen
table and counter become our study hall, with supplies stored
in the nearby pantry.
We do an over haul of their rooms every couple years, usually
during the summer when their time is less structured. I believe
organizing, like doing laundry or making a sandwich, is a skill
that needs to be taught. Happy Mother’s Day!
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